April 2019 blog entry. "Thinking out loud"

Just like it says in the title, I'm just thinking out loud. You do a lot of that when you are on your own.

​I'm thinking,  What's next? What's in store for me? I have done so much in my life, or so it seems, obvious things, diverse things, dangerous things, happy things, sad things, exciting things, boring things, and I wouldn't change any of it.

The strange thing is, I feel there is so much more that I have yet to do. I feel that the best is yet to come, which is a positive thing, but I also worry that time is running out. I know I shouldn't think like that because there is only so much you can squeeze into a life time, but I just do.

Most of us have a sort of plan for ourselves, our lives, or how we think we would like things to happen, but in my case, that plan went tits up when I allowed my arrogance and sometimes self pity to destroy it. So now what? Well, you make another plan, don't you? I sort of have, and obviously if I had my health it would be a breeze, but I'm not dead! So onward and upward!

I have really progressed, honestly, I have cut out all negative people from my life, I have stopped saying things like, "Why me?" and "Woe is me" and "life's so unfair", and now it's, "Can't wait for the next episode" and "Life is good".

​I have gone from, "Who would have time for an old geezer like me?" and "I'm destined to be alone until the end", to, "Hmm, she seems to like me" and "So does she", there is hope yet :) 

After reading all that back, I should have called it, "Ramblings of a mad man" , but no, I am pleased to share my thoughts, I am pleased to be thinking more positive, I am pleased to report that life is definitely worth living.

Love you all xxxx